Smitten

A poem I wrote in 2003:


he says there's a love, that never dies.
it changes who he's been.
who he was, and therein lies,
the tragedy he lends.

'God will save your weary soul.
he's there to ease the pain.'
no sanctity will make me whole.
or put aside my shame.

for if this God, who loves me so.
and hates me all the same.
is ever right, and will always know.
i cannot speak his name.

'i am the truth, the way and the life.'
oh God i cannot feel.
for this grieving heart, is dying too.
and you were never real.

'He shed his blood,a nd died for you.
so you will flee from hell.'
and i know i could, if i wanted to.
i'm dying just as well.

oh God, dear God, the one on high.
who forgets me all the same.
i am too proud, to never lie.
and let jesus fill my veins.

so cast me out, from heaven's book.
where my name once was written.
i have no doubt, that if you look.
the devil and i are smitten.

it is written, so it is written.
the sinner is me is smitten.

infactuated with living a lie.
for no truth in me is found.
no truth to be, blatent honesty.
i die.
i lay around.
i lose myself, in losing him.
the one who made me whole.
i lose my health, my future dim.
the devil heals my soul...